Between Me and the Sky

What transpired between myself and the Sky is probably a story in itself .. an epic tale of wrongs and rights and moments when you are not sure you can go on but .. you do ... and that is why you are still here to tell the tale. Of problems and solving them .. of heights and depths of character.

I am not proud of all that transpired .. of all I did. I sold a little bit of my soul .. not that I have much left to bargain with. But I had enough scraps that the Sky and I reached an understanding. A deal of sorts. Something lost for something gained. I doubt I will miss them much .. I really have not had a lot of use for them. Not even sure which pieces they were. I suppose I will come to discover those particulars in the coming hands and years.

I did not speak to Seveya about this. This was not hers to decide or even give an opinion on. It was between me and the Sky. She has my decision .. my will and purpose ... that is all I have promised her. The rest is mine to dispose of as I see fit .. and what I have gained from my loss? I consider it well worth the price.

I made it very clear to her how far I would go. What I would sacrifice .. who I would sacrifice. I made it clear to her that this thing within me would settle for no less than all I wanted .. even at my own expense. Especially at my own expense. That I will .. and have ... eaten through my own flesh for her. To stand on the other side of the wall was never .. can never ... be an easy thing for me.

I was tired. Feeling like I had been mentally and spiritually run over by a herd of bosk. Fitting I suppose. But with more of a sense of accomplishment than I had in a long time. A returned sense of control that emotions and circumstance had done such a good job of taking away from me. There was a sense of peace.

The kind of peace when you know you have given everything to attain the hardest and most coveted thing in your scope of reality. That all you have done .. is done. That there is nothing you or anyone can do .. and there is only to sleep while the storm rages around you ... for come what may you have set it all to right. Bled as much as you have .. given as much as there is to give and now there is only to watch and see if it is enough.