There is another woman in my life .. the slave Catch. There are times I overlook her or forget about her completely. I am afraid she learned that about me quite early on. But then there are other times when she impacts me .. creeps into my thoughts and I go hunting her down if she is not at my feet. She always seems shocked when I do .. as if I never do ... though I suppose I do understand her surprise for the whys and wheres are never the same nor do they follow any pattern that a person could study and anticipate. But that is my way .. it always has been.
Whether it is at the slave wagon I find her .. or standing beside the cooking fires. Whether she is taken as a sex slave or sent on some menial task. Whether I command her to me with a known secure tone to my feet or whether she sees me bearing down on her on kaiila and takes off at a run like a startled vulo .. a chase that always ends the same... it does not seem to matter. She always seems refreshingly startled. Perhaps it is something she has learned from the other slaves .. whether it is learned or her nature I find the heightened color .. the liquefying eyes ... the sharp intake of breath ... altogether attractive and enticing.
Catch is the only slave I have now .. the others gone here or there. She has continued to turn up though and presents little trouble to me which has allowed her to claim her place at my feet time and time again. And the pleasure of her there grows. The comfortable place she carves for herself with me becomes more and more secure. It would be hard for me to imagine my life without her .. which I suppose is the goal most slaves seek to attain but few reach.
It was sometime last spring .. when the flowers were abundant and the grass green and the Central Fire's warmth was a blessing upon winter cooled shoulders while the rains were still abundant ... when I began at times to allow Catch to sleep in my wagon. She has a place near the foot of my couch where Seveya and I sleep. Apart from us but within hearing of a whispered command to approach. Seveya can order her back to the slave wagon whenever she wishes the two of us to be alone .. but if the command is not given to sleep away Catch has her own small bed as a part of my wagon.
Now that command to approach our couch is never given by me in these circumstances. It is only given by Seveya as our bed is the one place that I will not take Catch sexually without the invitation of Seveya. Now in the slave wagon .. or anywhere else in camp it is my prerogative and I do as I please. It is not given often .. that invitation to our bed ... but when it is .. it is offered with the knowledge that all three of us understand the places each hold and no one will forget it.
Catch will never be my mate .. she will never bear me a child nor will she hold a place at my side shouldering the responsibilities .. the decisions that shape our future. Her future is decided by myself and I do not consult her on it. She must follow .. and not only me .. she must juggle my demands with Seveya's expectations of her. And she must do this with grace and poise and a tight rein on emotions and attitudes that I know and understand crop up in any human's heart .. but it is still demanded and expected.
It is a hard place to be .. a hard balance to keep ... and yet she does so very well in my opinion..
.... and mine is the one that counts.
Catch is the woman that .. should I feel the urge ... I will chase down from the back of a kaiila and strip and use her harshly wherever she falls to the bolo.. that I will throw over a water barrel in the middle of camp and use her until she begs for mercy ... always good for my ego ... and she is the one I will give to another man should the idea appeal to me. She is the public side of my sexuality .. the part that others know about ... see or hear or taste for themselves.
She is a slave .. but more than that ... she is a Tuchuk slave and she carries her burdens and privileges as a Tuchuk slave should. With fire and ice .. arrogance and submission ... in perfect balance.
And she shows her success in this with a glance she throws at you when she is not thinking about it.
I love that look.
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