Temptation's Tease

When we left .. Seveya and I ... I pulled her aside away from the lamp's and firelight into the shadows ... I heard her boots scampering behind me as she tried to keep up before I jerked her around and up against a large rear wheel. I heard her backside collide with the solidity of the wood before I stepped in and up against her .. until I knew she was caught securely between that wheel .. and a hard place.

I cupped her cheek with a rough callused touch and I sought her mouth with my own. My touch turning into a grip of her jaw .. demanding ... restricting as I took my fill of her mouth .. the taste of her.

Kissing her is like a fine Turian liqueur .. a sweet glaze across my tongue but .. not filling. Alcoholic in content .. a rich wine to the senses ... but it is clear that it is only a precursor to the real meal.

A meal that is not mine to partake of .. yet.

I needed to be there with her. I needed to feel her. I wanted to feel her skin against mine .. I wanted to feel it grow warm and pliable .. as it melted beneath the heat. I wanted to dig my fingers into her .. feel the brief restriction before she succumbed to the demands of my touch. I wanted to ground my reality into her until that is all she knew .. from the inside out.

Every gasp .. every shortened breath ... like a soothing seducing whisper to my baser desires. A beckon and a welcome ... a wagon's lamp light after a long cold day in the saddle.

I tried to talk it out .. I shoved my forehead against the spoke of that wheel near her ear until I felt the bite of the wood's grain into my skin ... focus .... I had to focus.

I was having no trouble focusing at all. I could smell her ... I had tasted her and I knew ... without a doubt .. what pleasures she offered me without even knowing. Without knowing she could .. or would ... or what it even meant. Her innocence only made it worse. It is a heady intoxication to a man.

But that is not what I wanted to focus on.

She could not know .. the things I have done. The pleasures I have taken at the expense of another ... the violence ... the destructive desires ... the satisfaction of causing pain. She only knows one thing ... the restraint ... the tease of sexual frustration. A pure and simple .. desire. A beautiful fragile kind of wanting of another that floats on an easy breeze of light hearted music. It talks of gentle kisses and explorations ..

She could not know what I offered .. what I wanted ... what I knew how to do.

She tormented me with a cool .. inexperienced touch of small fingers. I grabbed the spokes radiating out on either side of her and I held on for .. her dear life.

I know sexual desire. I know what it is to seek sexual release. I know what it is to use a hole to shove my cock into .. all the better if she is pleasing ... if she knows a little ... gives back a little.

But this .. with Seveya is different.

I can not explain easily what it is like to .. feel. It rips at my guts .. like a bestial growl deep within my lungs I did not even know I had within me ... it crawls to the surface and through my chest. I want to devour .. consume ... to make mine in every way a man can imagine ... to humiliate .. control ... possess. I want to ravage and rape and in the middle of my meal lift my bloody jowls to the Sky and scream of my triumph. I want to lift shredded pieces of her flesh upon my fists and demand the Sky look .. see ... acknowledge me as an opponent worthy of notice. It eats through my muscles .. it rises like acidic bile in my throat ... it leaves the aegis of my lids heavy with all that I wish to do to prove my strength .. my power ... my vitality.

I fought hard for focus .. for control ... the kind of control that would save her from me. I talked .. against her ear.. I explained ... some of what I felt and what I needed. Leaving it at .. wanting to be with her .. touch her skin ... to feel her against me. I asked her if it made her feel less .. because I wanted these things .. now. She told me it did not make her feel less to be with me .. unfortunately that excited all my possessive urges again.

Try something else Fonce.

Control .. it was the key and I took it. Sating some of my baser instincts with teasing her. Making her squirm with a few simply touches .. a few whispered words against her ear. Things that would not break any honorable promise of care and restraint ... a lure with promises of things to come. Testing her restraint instead of her testing mine. It fed me .. a little. Enough that I did not forget myself .. I did not tear her apart or destroy her ... or my honor. I took my pleasure from her empty ache .. her need ... the smell of it on her skin ... rising like a heady musk that told me all I needed to know about her suffering. I fed the sadist in me .. by holding it all back from her .. only painting a few pictures she could connect to and ... feel.

fucking bitch

I wanted her to feel it .. to need it ... to feel her body clutch at it .... to want it so bad she would be willing to do anything to get it. I wanted her to feel the rage building up inside of me as if it were her own .. as if it originated with her. I wanted her to feel the fever as it took hold and consumed the marrow of her bones. I wanted to smile .. laugh .... I wanted to thrill at her pain. I wanted to own it .. hold the throbbing pulse of it in my hand. It was the closest thing I could get to .. what I really wanted ... that night.